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Nov. 17th, 2009 07:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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jlarinda, from this post at Shakesville: Rape Culture 101:
I was an RA at my university for 3 years. Every year, about 1 in 6 girls were assaulted in the first week of school. I personally knew of five girls who were raped (two by the same bastard and one who was a close friend of mine), all of whom never reported it. Most don't. I remember doing rounds one night and overhearing a group of girls talking about a friend of theirs who was raped the night before, but as soon as they saw me they all clammed up and wouldn't say a word to me because I was ResLife and they didn't want that kind of drama.
During my semester in exile after Hurricane Katrina, I went to a school where a girl did tell the university about how a frat guy raped her. The in-school trial was long and arduous, with the girl having to tell her story over and over again. The creep was suspended from the school, but here's the kicker - the rape isn't even on his permanent record. The girl had gone to the university to deal with the issue, not the local police. If she wanted to bring real charges against the guy, she would have had to go through all of it, all over again. She dropped the case.
That month (Oct 2005) in that small college in suburban Ohio, there were six reported rapes, with the one above being the most high profile. All of them occured just off campus, and all of them involved different victims and rapists. The news was spread widely across the school. Some of the girls dropped out because they couldn't deal with the massive amounts of negative attention they were getting (people were defending the rapists and blaming the girls for ruining the guys' lives). After that, there was a drop in reported rapes for the month of November. Not because it stopped happening - it was because the assaulted girls didn't want to come forward and deal with the shitstorm that landed on those first six girls who did report.
I just. I can't even.
This bullshit needs to stop.
Also, this, from a now defunct page -
Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!
1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.
2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!
6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!
10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.
And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are commiting a crime- no matter how “into it” others appear to be.
jlarinda, from this post at Shakesville: Rape Culture 101:"Rape culture is 1 in 6 women being sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Rape culture is not even talking about the reality that many women are sexually assaulted multiple times in their lives. Rape culture is the way in which the constant threat of sexual assault affects women's daily movements. Rape culture is telling girls and women to be careful about what you wear, how you wear it, how you carry yourself, where you walk, when you walk there, with whom you walk, whom you trust, what you do, where you do it, with whom you do it, what you drink, how much you drink, whether you make eye contact, if you're alone, if you're with a stranger, if you're in a group, if you're in a group of strangers, if it's dark, if the area is unfamiliar, if you're carrying something, how you carry it, what kind of shoes you're wearing in case you have to run, what kind of purse you carry, what jewelry you wear, what time it is, what street it is, what environment it is, how many people you sleep with, what kind of people you sleep with, who your friends are, to whom you give your number, who's around when the delivery guy comes, to get an apartment where you can see who's at the door before they can see you, to check before you open the door to the delivery guy, to own a dog or a dog-sound-making machine, to get a roommate, to take self-defense, to always be alert always pay attention always watch your back always be aware of your surroundings and never let your guard down for a moment lest you be sexually assaulted and if you are and didn't follow all the rules it's your fault."
I was an RA at my university for 3 years. Every year, about 1 in 6 girls were assaulted in the first week of school. I personally knew of five girls who were raped (two by the same bastard and one who was a close friend of mine), all of whom never reported it. Most don't. I remember doing rounds one night and overhearing a group of girls talking about a friend of theirs who was raped the night before, but as soon as they saw me they all clammed up and wouldn't say a word to me because I was ResLife and they didn't want that kind of drama.
During my semester in exile after Hurricane Katrina, I went to a school where a girl did tell the university about how a frat guy raped her. The in-school trial was long and arduous, with the girl having to tell her story over and over again. The creep was suspended from the school, but here's the kicker - the rape isn't even on his permanent record. The girl had gone to the university to deal with the issue, not the local police. If she wanted to bring real charges against the guy, she would have had to go through all of it, all over again. She dropped the case.
That month (Oct 2005) in that small college in suburban Ohio, there were six reported rapes, with the one above being the most high profile. All of them occured just off campus, and all of them involved different victims and rapists. The news was spread widely across the school. Some of the girls dropped out because they couldn't deal with the massive amounts of negative attention they were getting (people were defending the rapists and blaming the girls for ruining the guys' lives). After that, there was a drop in reported rapes for the month of November. Not because it stopped happening - it was because the assaulted girls didn't want to come forward and deal with the shitstorm that landed on those first six girls who did report.
I just. I can't even.
This bullshit needs to stop.
Also, this, from a now defunct page -
Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!
1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.
2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!
6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!
10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.
And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are commiting a crime- no matter how “into it” others appear to be.
